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Terry Storch Dispatch w.27.2020
"You always hold the rights to your effort, but never to your results. Results are entitled to no one. At best, they are on loan and must be renewed each day. All you own is the right to try." - James Clear
Intimacy. When you think about this word, where does your mind go? My guess is that your mind goes to the second definition, which is: private and personal; “...intimate details of his sexual encounters.” This is a true definition of intimacy, but I think we really miss out on what a full understanding of intimacy is when we skip over the first definition, which is: closely acquainted; familiar; close; “intimate friends.”
When I was out running this past week, I was thinking about this topic of intimacy. Robin and I were having dinner with some of our closest friends this past week, and I noticed how “connected” we felt as a group in our conversations. As couples, we were deep into our discussions and expressing how God was working in our lives, in our jobs, and in our families. It was really fascinating how drawn I felt to Robin in this setting and conversation. Honestly, closer than many times when we have one on one discussions. There is power in intimate friendships and deep engagement in this type of community.
While out on my run, I wondered why. Why does this happen this way, and why does it happen so often in community settings with close friends? I was pondering how, generally speaking, women are more drawn to intimate and personal types of language and feelings. Yet, this isn’t really how I’m wired, and most of the men that I hang out with aren’t wired to be pulled into the “feely type” of conversation and language, either. So, what is different in these settings? I think I stumbled onto a key—mission-minded. When I was unpacking the discussion, there was always an element of mission mixed into the discussion and conversation. Then, I started researching this topic and found this really interesting article written seven years ago.
In the article title Why we call it “a personal relationship with Jesus,” the author lays out a timeline of when and why this concept came to be a reality. Much of this article has an obvious bias and has a lot of opinions baked in, but with that in mind, I can pick up a theme that makes total sense in my mind. We don’t see this direct language anywhere in the Bible of a “personal relationship with Jesus,” but it’s talked about so often. We talk about our “personal quiet times,” and reference these concepts of intimacy as a private and personal connection.
Trying to figure out why different situations create connection and intimacy is what was bouncing around in my mind while out running. The mission part clicked, and the understanding of how we discuss topics, who we discussed topics with, and how the community part of conversation could really enhance intimacy with each other and with God was pretty fascinating to me and honestly, quite enlightening.
If you are a new reader to this dispatch, then I need to share this important piece of information with you right now. Oftentimes, I just use this as a time to work out my ideas or my thoughts. I share what is going on in my head and other times, I take it another direction. It can be random, or it can be very strategic and on purpose.
Today, I’m processing and working through some random things. With that in mind, I discovered that it’s really important to make sure that when we process and talk about intimacy, that we don’t skip over the first definition of the word. The understanding and reality that it also means “closely acquainted, familiar, close, ‘intimate friends.’" This intimacy extends to our connection with our God, in our relationships with others, and can even happen at a deeper and more profound level in a community than when alone.
I’m reminded of how important it is to have the right people in our lives, and for Robin and I to have the right couples to spend our time with. I’m also reminded how people connect with each other and with God is different. Men and women are very different, but it would also not be fair or accurate to overgeneralize these gender categories as well. I have so much to learn and so many areas to continue to grow in. I’m thankful there’s no deadline or timeframe for our arrival at complete transformation or sanctification.
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In today’s climate, it’s nearly impossible to share a link to anything presidential and it not be taken as a political statement. So, with that in mind, please know this is NOT a political statement, endorsement, or anything of the sort. Recently, Robin, the girls, and I watched the Michelle Obama documentary on Netflix, and it was outstanding. (Here’s the trailer.) Being a father to daughters, I’m always looking for the right books, articles, and shows that we can engage with together to help inspire them and bring the right perspective to their lives. This was an awesome documentary, and I highly recommend it. Watch now.
What separates the doers from the dreamers? The title of this article, According to Steve Jobs, This One Thing Separates The Doers from The Dreamers, hooked me. The main reason why is I get tired of hearing people tell me what they want to do, but never take the steps to actually do it. I have conversations with people who admit they need to lose weight, but don’t take the steps to actually do it. I know people who know they need to get out of debt, but continue to make financial decisions opposed to that desire. These conversations annoy me. But let's move on. Take a moment and read this practical article.
Reflections on 1 Peter.